Ned Style

 ’We called the new baby Ned,’ says a Lib-Dem voting, Guardian reading, London pal. For Ned’s sake, I hope the child never attends uni in Scotland. For, north of Carlisle, NEDS implies non-educated delinquent 'schemies' - scourge of the Bearsden/ Morningside genteel classes who live in fear of being ‘chibbed’ for crack spends by tooled-up, rickets-y youth with in trackies with track marks all over their spotty, self-tattooed skin. As fashion so often takes its cue from film and TV -  if you had a tenner for every Mad Man manqué out there, you could buy up all of Greenock, Giffnock and Port Glasgow , should you so desire - how long before the streets are awash with doppelgängers from Peter Mullan’s Neds? For pure 70s period effect, adopt flares, long leatherette coat, feather cut hair and a penchant for kissing, Glasgow style. Alternatively, take a masterclass in contemporary Ned-ism courtesy of The Wee Man at http://tinyurl.com/cqwuky Either way, not a good look.

Anti-Social, moi?

For me, it was love at first sight: twenty years on, I’m still besotted with my sexy Mac. That’s Mac as in not-a-PC, equally addictive machines according to users. When not developing curvature of the spine, hunched over lap-or-desktop catching up on Corrie, comparing the market.com, off my face on Facebook or marveling at YouTube clips demonstrating Peaches Geldof’s  command of English - y’know? the one at http://tinyurl.com/y9a7xc5 - I’m tweeting utter twollox. Enough! This obsessive relationship is unhealthy, as my stranger-to-the-gym bod demonstrates. Could salvation lie in the software equivalent of Antabuse, a drug designed to deflect alkies from the cooking sherry?  Anti-Social,  networking block software available to download, promises to deny (s)Mac addicts their daily fix. For PC junkies, there’s Freedom. Either way, isn’t it time to get a life that’s not 99% virtual?

http://anti-social.cc/