Saturday, 27 February 2010

Shockings


That’s ‘shockings’ as in shocking stockings, but see also ‘shites’, as in shit tights. According to the style glossy posse, this season’s hot hosiery trend is all about patterns. Any bets, though, that the majority of well turned ankles at this week’s London catwalk shows will be sheathed in sheer nude or twenty shades of solid black? I tell you, it’s a wicked conspiracy by bitter, frigid, skinny mag hags to make their shaplier sisters appear utterly preposterous. Know that chunky lace swirl designs make anything other than anorexic pins look like thick bolts of upholstery fabric destined for a DFS sofa factory, while Su Pollard-style sparkly lurex brights are fine if you’re going for the Big Bird off Sesame Street look this autumn. Designer Henry Holland’s revolting ‘graduated’ numbers and ‘mock hold ups’ for Pretty Polly are plain plug-ugly, Betty ..and as for his alphabet tights, do those letters spell V-I-C-T-I-M?
House of Holland mock over the knee tights at www.tightsplease.co.uk

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