Scarcely a day goes without some marketing Muppet commissioning yet another pointless survey. Headed ‘Research shows...’ these only state the bleedin’ obvious. A recent press release from a well-known tour operator includes the mind-blowing revelation that ‘money no object, 87% of Britons would rather holiday in the Seychelles than Skegness’ - the remaining 13% drawn to the Lincolnshire resort of last resort presumably polled on the streets of Psychoville? Based on yet more in-depth research, chewing gum brand Orbit Complete reports that ‘66% of men find women more attractive when they smile than when they wear make up’; the two being mutually exclusive, presumably? Placing David Beckham in the minority, they advise women looking for a date that most men don’t fancy pouters. Equally illuminating is the knowledge that smiley Louise Redknapp always carries a pack of Orbit Complete when she’s ‘on the go.’ Curiously unmentioned, my own research that shows 97.5% of men would prefer their dates never to chew gum.
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